"Confusing Behaviors of Adults"

This article is Lu Canwei's 129th original piece.

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I find that writing is a great time for reflection, especially when I write daily, as I review all my recent inputs, essentially doing a recap every day.

Inferiority Complex

Recently, while chatting with some friends about my current state, they offered their opinions and suggestions. When others point out your shortcomings, we instinctively tend to reject and explain, in plain language, it means I agree with what you said, but...

Once we fall into the "but" way of speaking, it indicates that we are not truly able to accept it. Are we too rigid in our thinking? It seems not, as we consider ourselves relatively open-minded.

I wonder if anyone has had the experience of running fast only to suddenly feel knee pain or trip right before the finish line, thus failing to complete the race. After days of preparation, suddenly developing acute gastroenteritis or a stomach ache right before an exam leads to being unable to take the test or performing poorly. Adler believes this is caused by the human inferiority complex, which is unrelated to actual ability; it is related to how we perceive ourselves. If we think we are worse than others and believe we can't do it, then we truly can't.

Humans will do anything to cover up their inferiority complex, one of which is lacking the courage to uncover the truth. When we have been studying for days and face an exam, what if we don't do well? I've worked so hard, and thus we create a false narrative: if it weren't for my stomach ache, I would have performed well.

Of course, more often than not, we think we can't do it, and then we impose limitations on ourselves, which means we don't have to put in the effort. We leave ourselves with some possibilities, thinking, "If I were to do it, I would definitely do better than him." Adler said, "We can do anything." Many times, we might hear others' evaluations saying, "You're not good at writing," and we use this excuse to find plenty of evidence to support it. For example, we might say, "Look, no one reads what I write," or "I can't produce that much content," and so on.

In a similar vein, if we say, "I'm not good at singing," it might turn into "My voice isn't pleasant," "I can't carry a tune," or "I mispronounce words," etc. This set of reasoning can be applied to almost everything, allowing us to avoid the effort needed to address the aforementioned disadvantages, while also preventing others from judging us, leaving us with a beautiful fantasy that we could definitely do well if we tried.

Adults

When facing strangers, we suppress our emotions, while we excessively release our emotions in front of close ones.

We clearly have our own opinions and viewpoints, but we worry that the other party won't accept them and choose to compromise. What is merely a disagreement often ends up with personal attacks to avoid confronting the actual conflict.

We may have some dissatisfaction with others but refrain from expressing it due to social niceties. We can see others' problems very clearly, yet when it comes to ourselves, we find ourselves stuck.

When viewing matters, right and wrong sometimes are not as important as benefits and drawbacks. Liking something is not as important as it being suitable, even if what is suitable isn't particularly liked. Happiness is not as important as stability, persistence is not as important as speed, and long-term is not as important as short-term.

Our own time is not as important as others', our own emotions are not as important as tasks, choosing is not as important as not choosing, and our values are not as important as having value.

Those who work hard must pretend it is effortless, while those who don't work hard must claim they are trying very hard. In dealing with others, we strive to be smooth and diplomatic; being unique is seen as being different. We gain vanity or inferiority through comparison, wealth becomes the only standard for measuring others' value, self-esteem becomes insignificant in the face of interests, yet becomes extremely important during debates.

Justice is useless without a sense of justice, charity is hypocrisy, and relief is merely a means to avoid taxes; celebrities only seek to make money.

All motives are questioned for their profitability, and all debates are reduced to winning or losing.

As adults, everything is a game of strategy.

Recommendations:

Involution is inevitable; to avoid it, one can only pay the "overtime tax."

Some reflections from Hui Ge's voice messages have eased my anxiety.

Is our future predictable?

Who are you?

What is entropy?

How to avoid being deceived by big shots and quickly identify if someone truly has the capability in 3 seconds.

You, your perspective is too narrow...

Why do we need choices? Is more always better?

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