"How to Quickly Overcome Adversity: Here is a Tool for You"

This article is Lu Canwei's 39th original piece.

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Yesterday, I posted a complaint, and many friends came to ask me what was going on. I really appreciate everyone's support.

In fact, if you have noticed, I have been writing about cognition-related topics or philosophical matters recently. Only by improving on the path can you see the essence of things more clearly.

Buffett believes: "One major problem people face is whether they have an internal scorecard or an external scorecard. If the internal scorecard satisfies you, it will be very useful."

So when you focus on yourself, many things will have a different perspective.

Of course, after saying so much, let’s get to some practical content. This time, I will talk about adversity management.

Life is like running a marathon.

I wonder how many of you have run a marathon. A marathon is a very long process. I remember the first time I ran a marathon was 5-6 years ago. At that time, when I was listing my annual plans, I would create a whole checklist, and by the end of the year, it would naturally continue into the next year's checklist.

But the strange thing is, that year, for some reason, I signed up for a half marathon without really thinking it through, then I participated in the race and ended up finishing it without much preparation.

Looking back now, the first step in planning is execution, or you need to set a start button for yourself. Once you press the start button, you can't stop. For example, I felt I needed to do it, so I signed up, and as a result, I got selected, so there was no turning back.

I had no long-distance running experience, so I was forced to practice running before the race, finally getting myself, who couldn't even run a kilometer, to persist through 10 kilometers.

But a half marathon is over 20 kilometers, what to do? Just like many things in our lives, we always expect perfection, but the reality is that you will always lack talent and resources at work, yet you still have to get things done. So, having a score of 60 is often enough to get started.

Sure enough, by the 15-kilometer mark, my feet were already in great pain, and I relied on Yunnan Baiyao to push through to the finish line. To finish the race, you always need tools to assist you.

Running a marathon is the same as daily updates; once you stop, it becomes very difficult to start again. So throughout the 21.0975 kilometers, I didn't stop for a second, and the result was that I reached the finish line.

However, when I later ran the full marathon of 42.193 kilometers, I did not finish; I had 5 kilometers left because I was running too slowly and was forced to withdraw.

In our lives, we always encounter difficulties. I generally prefer to comfort others by saying, "Be optimistic; you will encounter worse things in the future," which often makes the other person feel even more overwhelmed. So when facing pressure and adversity, can we not overcome it and only rely on experience?

Fortunately, we are in an era where acquiring knowledge is very low-cost.

Adversity Quotient

We all know about IQ and EQ, but have you heard of AQ (Adversity Quotient)?

About 30 years ago, Dr. Martin Seligman observed several experiments with dogs (poor dogs, why click on them), and he found that some dogs completely did not react; they just lay down and endured the pain.

Later, Dr. Seligman designed a two-phase experiment.

They placed the dogs in another location with the same apparatus, and they only needed to jump to the other side to avoid the electric shock. In the end, Groups A and C quickly understood how to escape discomfort, while Group B just lay down whimpering and did not attempt to escape.

Dr. Seligman discovered that these dogs learned helplessness, and subsequently, scientists found that other animals and humans could also learn this trait. Learned helplessness is the internalization of the idea that "nothing works," which weakens a person's sense of control.

I wonder if you have seen people at work who say that even if they try hard, they won't get good results. Doesn't it feel like that dog? That dog won't move because it knows that moving is useless.

So when facing adversity, what we lose is our sense of control over things. Without a sense of control, there is no hope or action, making life feel very hopeless. Another aspect is persistence; we cannot know how long this situation will last, and we can easily let the fire continue to spread until we feel that this situation is permanent.

LEAD Tool

Two techniques to overcome current adversity are situation reconstruction and decisive action. Simply put, it’s about regaining a sense of control and then taking decisive action.

LEAD Tool

Listen (L) to Adversity Responses

First, we can listen to ourselves or others regarding their reactions to the accumulating difficulties. Clearly, in the current emotional state, the reactions will be very negative, even for an optimistic person; their AQ may still be low.

Explore (E) Responsibility for Outcomes

First, we need to explore who will take responsibility for this situation and who will clean up the mess.

For example, if stress leads to health problems, who is ultimately responsible for our health? It’s us, right? Or if we encounter problems at work, who is responsible for our work? It’s us, right?

You can list the things you find difficult and then ask yourself who is ultimately responsible for each of these matters.

Use Rational Thinking: Analyze (A) Evidence

At this point, we need to analyze the situation to regain control. For instance, we may feel that something is very difficult and that everything is doomed. But can we provide evidence that everything is doomed? It seems we cannot. If we think this situation will last a long time, is there evidence that indicates it will last a long time? It seems there isn't either.

This means you haven't lost your sense of control yet. Find those things you can control and list them out.

Take Action: Do (D) Something

Since we can list the things we can control, can we provide a corresponding response plan for each item? After providing the plans, we can prioritize them and take immediate action.

Here is a template for reference.

Distraction Method

However, once the fire starts to spread, it is often very difficult to switch to another perspective immediately. At this point, you need a method to help you regain clarity. Usually, we can use small props to achieve this.

You can choose to put a rubber band around your wrist, stretch it, and then let it go. It hurts, right? But doesn’t it interrupt your train of thought? NBA star Kevin Garnett often does this at the free-throw line.

Additionally, you can change your state through exercise. When you exercise for more than 20 minutes, your body releases endorphins, which are recognized as effective means against depression.

Finally,

To help us quickly emerge from adversity and effectively improve our AQ, we can focus on the following points:

Blind confidence has many downsides, but it can help you quickly regain a sense of control in adversity.

I won't elaborate on the todo-list; you can check out "The Checklist Manifesto," which may be one of humanity's greatest inventions.

I also won’t discuss exercise and sleep in detail; I haven't been doing well in these areas either, as I haven't run in over a month due to the cold weather...

Lastly, you can check out the book "Adversity Quotient."

Recommendations:

Not sure what you are good at? You might need to take the Gallup Strengths Assessment.

How to make the right choices? You need to know these two pieces of information.

The four stages of cognition: which stage are you in?

Did you know? Instant decision-making can be trained.

A little motivational note:

Why do I sleep for a full 8 hours every day but still feel tired?

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