"Why Should We Be Ourselves?"

This article is Lu Canwei's 138th original piece.

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Recently, I started following an interesting UP master (yes, a lot of my strange knowledge comes from YouTube), who mentioned that most people don’t really understand themselves, nor do they know what makes them happy or unhappy, and what things are important to them.

So today I want to talk about being yourself.

Let me start with a story. I have a tattoo on my left wrist. At the time, I hadn’t really thought about what I wanted to tattoo, but when it came time to actually get it done, I thought to myself that this would be for a lifetime, so what is something I need to remember for my entire life? After some contemplation, I decided to tattoo "Be yourself," but I felt that such an inspirational tattoo might not look good to others, so I specifically chose a less obvious font.

Why did I have this thought? Because many years ago, I became seriously ill due to overwork and a weakened immune system, and I spent more than half a year in the hospital. During that time, I constantly reflected on how I should approach my future; when faced with death, everything seemed less important.

However, the greatest lesson for humanity is that we cannot learn from history. Once we start to get used to a new pattern, many of the principles we hold may quietly change.

So I decided to use this phrase to remind myself when I feel lost and directionless.

So how do we be ourselves?

Take responsibility for every decision you make.

First of all, many times, there will always be people who support your choices, and there will also be those who do not support you, or even those who slander and defame you. You cannot make everyone like you; no matter what, there will always be people who dislike you.

The first point of being yourself, I believe, is that you must take responsibility for every decision you make. There are always many enthusiastic people around us who want to help us make choices. If you follow their choices, it means you are giving up your responsibility to yourself. When the outcome of that choice does not meet your expectations, you can only blame others, but ultimately, you are the one who has to bear the consequences.

So regardless of whether the decision turns out to be good or bad, we must pay the price for it. Others' suggestions can only serve as one of your decision-making references, not your final decision.

Being yourself is not selfish.

Many people like to say, "I am just like this," to express that this is their personality. There’s nothing wrong with that, but we live in a society, so please consider the feelings of others. Being yourself and being selfish may seem similar, but if you’re not careful, you can easily ignore the existence of others. If being yourself is built on the foundation of hurting others or being rude, then that is not being yourself; it is selfishness.

This is similar to when I was younger and particularly cared about punctuality during dates. I thought if the other person was late, it was rude. At that time, all my attention was on the other person, and I lost sight of myself. If your focus is on yourself now, then during the time the other person is late, you can completely do your own things.

Of course, if you are the one who is late, you should consider the other person and let them know approximately how long you will be delayed, rather than being rude and just showing up late.

Being yourself is not the only choice.

Having said so much, does that mean everyone has to be themselves? Not necessarily; it’s enough to find a comfortable way of living. Even if others cannot force you to be yourself, some people prefer not to be so independent and hope for help in making choices. Following your own thoughts is the true essence of being yourself.

As long as it does not affect others, you can do whatever you like.

Finally, I hope everyone can find themselves.

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